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How to Obtain VIP Member Status

Addison Smith Opinion Editor

Over the past couple of years there has been one club at Barrack that has rapidly grown in popularity. Nobody knows how it came to be or why, but people love it so much. To see what the hype was about the Cougar Chronicle wanted to get the inside scoop, and hear from the head of the club herself (Maria). Maria did not want to comment on the success of her “underground” club at the moment. Even without a word from the leader you can see it for yourself, there is nothing quite like it. Sometimes there's even more people there than in the DC during lunch! If you go into her office you can see it for yourself, 5 minutes won’t go by without someone popping in to say hi or staying for a short break of class (which NEVER happens by the way). The club is open 8:15 am- 3:35 pm to anyone from grades 6 through 12, Monday through Friday. It’s stocked up with water, gatorade, saltines and even band-aids if you’ve partied too hard. Sometimes the club even gets shut down to make classroom visits.

With that being said, it might be open to the public, but what is exclusive and extremely hard to get your hands on is the highly coveted VIP member status. Even getting considered for this status is a challenge. The first part of the process is you have to attended the top secret open house for aspiring VIP member status students. Our latest one was during the health screenings in a hidden back room. Once you have been to one or two of the prospective VIP members' events then thats where you really have to pick up the pace if you want to be considered. Maria only picks two students a year to be a VIP, one from the middle school and one from the high school. Only one year back in 2018 where she picked three students that year, only because they were extremely well qualified. Now their identities remain a secret but rumor has it that all three of their pictures are hanging in the nurse’s top secret private headquarters. After events you need to start making regular appearances at the nurses office at least once a day to be safe but if you want to show her how dedicated you are then try and push it up to three/four times a day. Now your teachers might not like it but if you say to them I’m a prospective VIP member at club three zero N then they’ll let it slide. Once you’ve done that then it’s up to the board to decide if you’ve made it or not. You can expect your decision letter to come either in the mail or by phone around Pesach time.

Once admitted into the VIP status you have a once a week appearance minimum to keep up with. And Attending the open house events is a must to scope out the hopeful new members. Making donations is also an amazing way to be known as a top member, bringing in more refreshments like ginger ale and maybe even Ritz crackers will really set you above the rest. Being a good active member is crucial to keeping your VIP status because it can be taken away at anytime just ask the students from the year 2013 who got it taken away during their first trimester by not being good active members. There is one thing that helps you have immunity for inactiveness which is knowing a VIP alumni, but not just any alumni they had to be from the years 2005-2020, been a member while in high school and have pink or blue hair while in the club; also for an unknown reason anyone that was in the club in 1987 will also work too. This is all a lot easier said than done but it’s worth a try if you want to have something special to put on your college résumé. Just be warned that if you enter the nurses office talking about the club she will have no idea what you're talking about you have to say the special code Club N 98, for her to acknowledge it, use that passcode at your own risk.


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